Tae A Puddin'

Ian Peden wrote saying:- "Here's a kind of modern day Burns poem. I heard it first when it was recited by a Scottish comedian/singer by the name of Bill Hill and enjoyed it so much I bought the album it was on. I have no idea who the poet is though"

TAE A PUDDEN.

Fair fa your paper wrapped delights
As oot the boozer every night
We stagger singin' fu' as kites, wi' progress slippy
Tae purchase pokes o' puddens white
Intae the chippy

Its tae the coonter then we sally, bevvied up and feelin' pally
And then unto the local tally we slur and stutter
Wi' elbies on the coonter wally
Three pudden suppers

He wheechs the puddens oot the grease, coups in the chips and boiled peas
Wi' wonder shinin' in our eens, and spirits singin
And nippy sauce oor taste tae please
And pickled ingins

It's then we all undo the wrappers, a sudden hush upon oor patter
The aroma maks oor mooths a' watter and of a sudden it's there
A' clad in golden batter
A mealie pudden

Wi'burnin' haunds and lips a' chappit
It's tae the cauld in coats we're happit
We wallop in until we're stappit, and shout wi' glee
For mine was Daily Record wrappit and I got page three

Nae English whelks nor pints o' Bass, Nor Indian curries frae Madras
Nor Chinese cookin' I can pass wi' features wooden
But if you want to please yer lass
Gie her a Pudden